How a parent should show love for a child
Children need love. But the best way of showing that love is by giving them a clear structure, rules and discipline in the home. Not by always trying to please them.
The good news is that children like routine and discipline.
Punish your children if they are rude. Be fair, proportionate, consistent and never give up. They have to show respect for their parents. If they persist in being rude or disobedient don’t shout at them – try to maintain a dialogue, tell them what effect their rudeness is having on you and punish them in some appropriate way. If you fail, don’t give up – you are having an impact even when it doesn’t seem like it. When they are teenagers don’t waste your energy on small things, like an untidy room.
If your child is in trouble with his or her school, support the school even if you think the school might be wrong. It is important that your child believes the school has your support.
Encourage your children to develop hobbies but don’t fill their spare time too much. Let them have some time when they are ‘bored’: they need to learn ways of filling that time themselves.
TV and computer use are less valuable to a child’s development than reading and conversation so room has to be found for the latter. Computer use can be addictive and damaging. It is also very hard to prevent children from accessing damaging material through their computer.
Eat an evening meal sitting around a table with no TV once a day.
Eat Sunday lunch sitting around a table with no TV.
Do not allow your child a TV in the bedroom.
Do not allow children to use a computer, tablet or iPad for more than an hour a day, 2 hours over the age of 13.
Do not allow your children a computer, tablet or iPad in the bedroom until they are 16. Up to that age they should be allowed to use a computer which is positioned in the house in such a way that they can be seen and monitored by you.
Whatever their age, check the internet history to see what they have been doing.
Have filters on all computers in your house.
Install the YouTube Kids app which removes features like comments and the ability to upload videos. It also blocks inappropriate search terms.
Do not give your child a handheld device which can get internet access until they are 14 and ban use after bedtime. Do not trust your child not to use the device after bedtime – it must be left in a set place outside the bedroom.
If you need to give your child a mobile phone then the bill must be sent to you, the parent, for checking.
Do not allow a child under the age of 13 to have a Facebook or any other social media account unless supervised. Do not allow your children to play unsuitable computer games
Buy books for your children, books which they have chosen.
For children between the ages of 2 and 8 – read a book to them and with them for 30 mins every day with no TV in the background. Reading a bedtime story establishes literacy and imagination as well as conversation.
A child aged 1-3 needs 10-12 hours sleep a night. By the age of one get into a pre-bedtime routine by doing the same things, in the same order, at the same time every day – just before going to bed. A routine that lasts 15 to 30 minutes is best. Children between the ages of 4 and 11 must get 10 hours sleep a night.
Children aged 12-16 need 8-9 hours of sleep a night
Do not allow a child aged under 18 to attend a party or event during school term time if they cannot achieve 8 hours sleep.
Do not allow any child under the age of 18 to attend a party which is not supervised by responsible adults.
Strictly limit the amount of pocket money you give your children: many things you don’t want them to do cost money.
From an early age establish a rota of jobs that they must do in the house to help you. Don’t make this excessive but make it a firm requirement…..such as washing-up lunch on Sunday, or cleaning the baths and basins once a week. They have to learn that these household chores are to be shared.
If you are a tough parent you will be rewarded with good children who, incidentally, will bring up your grandchildren in a similar way.